3/5 of FAITH is WAIT

Another part of our story, who knows what chapter we are on:

Back on the 13th, we got a message on our web portal about a potential birthparent placement that they were asking waiting families to pray about and consider if we wanted to be shown to this couple.  It caught my eye because they don't let us know about being shown to a couple.  As I read the case, I was taken back as I noted each sentence and planted it into my heart.  Out of respect, I won't go into a lot of details, but basically the first paragraph was the "ideal" baby.  Two parents who were supportive of adoption, healthy, under prenatal care, no drug/alcohol/tobacco use, a girl :), Caucasian....I could go on. Oh, and she is due at the end of January! When I read the second paragraph, that is where the case got interesting.  Apparently their was going to be a big sum of birthparent pass through expenses...about $20,000.  WOW~and this would be in addition to the amount already due at placement.  Cha-Ching.  I mean, CHA-CHING!  Such a blow.  They were asking us (waiting faimilies) to prayerfully consider if we want to be shown to this couple and to let our case worker know by 11/26.  Ty and I discussed it and we were so torn because we wanted to go for it, but the dollar signs are soemthing that we don't have.  I don't even know who has that kind of cash.  (If you do, please consider helping me out!)

After much prayer and even getting some prayer warriors involved, we wanted to go for it, and I really bad.  I understood Ty's point because he said that he didn't want to go in debt, but I just couldn't think about passing up this "free" to at least go for it mind set.  If we weren't selected, then that would be a closed door for sure. You see, we are children of God and serve a mighty, powerful Father who can move mountains and make miracles happen.  Over the weekend we had prayerfully decided to go for this couple and have our profile book shown. 

I didn't get a chance to call my Social Worker until the 21st.  I emailed and sent a message to her on our portal and it kicked a message to me saying that she was out of town for Thanksgiving.  Strike One.  Then I called the Charlotte office and nobody answered so I left a message.  Strike Two.  A little while later, the precious adoption counselor called me and I loved our conversation.  She said that this is part of the journey and H-U-G-E leaps of faith.  Sometimes she said that you just have to jump.  We were told that we couldn't ask any questions...but we did talk further about the case and she said that the BM was out of a different branch and that they didn't have a lot of profiles to show because of the extra money involved.  That gave us a great hope.  The counselor also said that it is possible that the cost wouldn't be that high if she was able to get things worked out.  Was that a sign that God had already provided for us?  She said that she would call the branch right now, done. 

Over the remainder of the week, we were hopeful, scared, excited, and nervous.  I would be lying if I said that I didn't look up how many weeks the BM was, thinking about "pink" things, and finally getting to say that we were placed.  Also, she would get to wear my cousin Alli's hand-me-downs, and mom is set on the fact that she is going to have one of each grandchild.  (Remember that my brother and his wife are due in May~and we all think that it is a boy.)  It is a really freaky feeling to know that someone was going to be digging into our lives and deciding if we were "perfect" to them to raise their child.  On Monday, I got some text messages curious to know if we had heard anything.  I love my prayer warriors/family/friends. 

I always keep my cell phone on my desk this year, you know, just in case.  I checked my phone after lunch today and I saw that I had a message on my portal.  I read that the BM looked at profiles yesterday and selected an adoptive couple, and they had already been notified.  Reject, defeat, disappointment, sad.  However, I had 22 first graders who need me to be on my toes and teach them to the best of my ability.  One sweetheart waved her hand in front of me shortly after I read the message, because I was staring into space.  Focus, Molli.  I made it to the end of the day, and I was so proud because I haven't shed ONE tear!  Yay, me.  I called Ty and messaged a few family/friends.  I love their kind words of encouragement.  I stayed at school tonight until 6:10 and that helped too, I think.  Ty and I went out to dinner and we talked about how we were sad, but yet glad to not have to get a loan for the pass through expenses. 

As I have been taught:  "God is either protecting you, or saving you for something better."  I love my mom. 

Maybe this chapter is turning into its own novel, sorry. 

Mom called and said "we didn't nickname this baby Miracle for nothing" and I totally agree. That made me totally smile from ear to ear. We have to keep waiting on our Miracle to come from above.  We have already waited eight years, officially in adoption world for almost a year, and we will continually wait and be so forever grateful for His blessing to our family.